Guest Blog: @iamcherlynn

This morning, my good friend was verbally abused. Don’t worry, the man paid her a compliment before the abuse – “Hey sexy, how are you” he said. How would you react to that? My friend decided to ignore it. The man then exclaimed “Wasn’t talking to you anyway you fat bitch”

There you have the abuse. Why did she get this tone? Did she entice him? Had she goaded him on? Did she abuse him first? No, she just walked on a public road, as everyone else is entitled to without being harassed.

Now there are many issues here to deal with – firstly the word sexy, implying that he is aroused by the way she looks. Probably not the best game to put forward the first time you meet someone. It does work for some, but not for all. Maybe he realised the errors of his ways and followed with “I’m sorry, just wanted to get to know you because I saw you and just had to say something. No worries if you don’t feel the same way – have a lovely day”

The word ‘sexy’ has become overused in our society, but it is so overused it has lost its original meaning that is to provoke or intend to provoke sexual interest? This grey area is the problem, let’s as a society recapture ‘sexy’ back to its original meaning and only use it in the correct context.

Now let’s talk about the fact that she ignored him; as humans in a free(ish) society, or if you’re religious, as humans that were given free will by God, you have the opportunity to make choices that affect your destiny. She had the free will to ignore. Yes, he also that the free will to react in that way, but his reactions is a bigger reflection on our society as we know it.

The abuse – “wasn’t talking to you anyway you fat bitch”. I just don’t understand. Did she turn around for him to catch her eye and let her know he was actually talking to the hot broad next to her? Probably not; his response is illogical as there was no one else around to hear it; he must have been talking to her and her only.

“…fat bitch”; why is this a cuss in our society? What is our obsession with weight and beauty and female dogs while I’m at it?! My dear friend is not fat. Jesus I hate that word, but for the purposes of the man I will use it…Anyway, she’s not. I should know; I am and have been most of my life. If anyone should be called fat it should be me. So why call a human being who fits within the demographics of average weight – below average actually be called ‘fat’? Does ‘fat’ even mean ‘fat’ anymore? I just urban dictionary’d the word and this is what came up were some funny and some not so funny responses. The part that really sticks out for me is the ’20 words related to fat’

Ugly? Bitch? Stupid? I didn’t realise the word reflected on her intelligence. Also using the word bitch in two different ways in a row would get you no marks in English class.

Why as a nation are we obsessed with looks and female dogs? Why is being ugly and overweight the most hurtful thing that can be said to a woman? Would calling a man an ‘obese slut’ have the same impact? Sadly that man will continue to compliment and abuse through life, all we can do is either allow him to act this way, kick him where it hurts or explain to him how to deal with rejection. I pick the latter, but man I really want to get my kick on.

What I worry about is the possibly that his man will have children before realising the error of his ways. He’ll pass on that message to the future generation. Let’s hope that child uses their free will to come to their own logical conclusions on how to treat people. But if they go down the same path, that’s why I’m worried about our boys.