Social Issues / Womanhood

Mums the word

coolmomI got dressed in some extremely sensible clothes for a walk the other day and the BF told me I looked like a ‘mum’. I gave him a confused look and said “what my mum?” “Nope” he said “just a Mum”. I was reassured this was a compliment to my practical approach to our day out but it did make me feel weird. I’d initially took it as an insult but then thought about it. How is that an insult? We so often use phrases like mumsy to describe clothes or something that isn’t cool. It struck me how odd that was. Firstly my friends who are mum’s are smokin’ hot and secondly do we really want to group together a large proportion of people and wrongly label them as unfashionable or out of touch? Mum’s aren’t just cool they are fierce. This is literally the only word that I think does them justice, and here I’m talking Beyoncé meets Hilary Clinton fierce.

30 is recently upon me and suddenly my ovaries have awoken and asked me the age old question, is it baby time? Part of me couldn’t help but take the “You look like a mum” comment with a bit of a cheeky grin. And with these new broody feelings I’m forfilling the stereotype of women my age. I do a lot of staring at babies. I often sniff their heads too long. Sorry to any of my friends with little ones. I will smell your children. Because, you know, they smell like heaven. I’m skipping, I’m literally skipping around having daydreams about what my baby will be like. Will he or she have brown eyes like me? What will we get up to together? What will they be like?

Within my new found excitement I began thinking, all of this feels very familiar. I remember this feeling of excited butterflies and curious looks from family members as if to say “oh well she’s at that age”. It’s a feeling I never thought I’d have again. Dare I say it … it’s like having your first crush. I feel all weird and not sure what to do with all my excited energy, shall I write I love babies on my hand in the hope that him indoors will notice? But granted this is a lot more complicated that your boyfriend. You can’t just grab unsuspecting 14 year olds at the school disco and try to snog all of them until someone doesn’t run away. I don’t think babies work in the same way …well we all know how babies are made.

Whether I’ll have a baby or not I don’t know. It doesn’t happen for everyone and there is that key issue of consulting with your partner. We’re living in an extremely lucky time ladies. We can choose; do I want children or not? Birth control has set us free and no longer are we just expected to get married and have children. We have a choice. Our bodies will tell us if we’re able to do it naturally or if we go down the adoption route. But regardless the choice is what’s important, the choice is what’s exciting. Being a woman is a hundred worlds away from that of our mothers and grandmothers. So much so that having a baby crush isn’t just reserved for women, men can be excited about it to. Without the expectation that having children is ‘just something everyone does’.

One thing I know for sure, I’m not going to be embarrassed of my biological clock or pretend my baby crush isn’t happening. Because after all, we all know one of the best parts of crushing on something is talking about it with your friends.

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